Whoever has the charge of others ought not hesitate to resist and correct the vices of those who depend on him, or even to oppose their sentiments when need requires it—-always, however, with mildness and peace, especially when he has to enunciate any truths difficult to receive. Such truths must first be heated by a burning fire of charity, which will take away all their sharpness; otherwise, they will be sour fruit, better calculated to cause disease than to give nourishment. Nothing is more bitter than walnut-bark when it is green; but when made into a preserve, it is very sweet and exceedingly wholesome. So reproof, which is very bitter in its nature, heated at the fire of charity and sweetened by amiability, becomes itself pleasing and delicious. And when truth uttered by the tongue is destitute of sweetness, it is a sign that the heart is wanting in true charity.
~St. Francis de Sales
When Father Lambert of the Congregation of the Mission was obliged to administer correction to his inferiors, he accompanied it with great sweetness, and never exaggerated their faults. He even overlooked them as far as he could, sometimes when committed in his presence. The venerable Cardinal Bellarmine used to act in the same way.
St. Francis Borgia never let any faults of his subjects pass without correction. When they were slight faults, he never spoke harshly, but would say, “Ah! may God pardon you! May He make you a Saint! Oh, brother, how could you say or do this?” If the fault was grave, he summoned the culprit, corrected him kindly, and when he saw any amendment, dismissed the whole matter.
St. Vincent de Paul, when he was obliged to give correction, did it with so much moderation and in a manner at once so sweet and so effective that even the hardest hearts were softened and could not resist the power of his gentleness. He said, on one occasion, that in the whole course of his life he had given correction with harsh words only three times, in which he thought it necessary to do so; but every time he had been afterwards sorry, for the result proved to be bad; and on the contrary, by mildness he had always obtained what he desired. The precautions which he used to render correction fruitful, and to sweeten its bitterness, were the following: In the first place, unless it was absolutely necessary, he never gave correction at the moment the fault was committed, but took some time to consider before God the best way of treating it, especially if the fault was grave and the person little disposed to receive reproof; and when a suitable time came, he would ask him, with much confidence and cordiality, if he would like a little advice, adding that he knew he was himself more imperfect and culpable than any other. In the second place, he would show him marks of affection, and praise him if he could find anything to praise in him. He thus opened the way to reveal to him his fault with tact, and to make him see its gravity and bad effects. He excused it too, and made the least he could of it, and then suggested a remedy, and as an encouragement to make use of it, added humbly that he, too, needed it. Thirdly, he ended the correction with encouragement, saying that God had permitted that failing as a humiliation, and to give opportunity to attend with greater fervor to the acquisition of virtue. Often he would apparently pass over faults, making it appear that he had scarcely noticed them. It was his opinion that those who had fallen into some faults should be admonished, the first time, at some fitting opportunity, with great kindness and gentleness; the second time, with a little severity and gravity, accompanied, however, with graciousness and the suggestion of easy and charitable remedies; but the third time, with zeal and firmness, and with a warning of the final remedy which would have to be applied.
St. Mary Magdalen de’ Pazzi was never known to assail or oppress anyone. On the contrary, when she was mistress of novices, if anyone of those whom she reproved answered her with pride and stubbornness, she said nothing, but merely regarded her with an amiable look and waited until some other time to correct her.
When St. Jane Frances de Chantal had to give any correction or penance, she spoke always with great care that there might not escape from her lips any word of reproof or disapproval, which would show the slightest sign of anger, but that all might be accompanied by a cordial compassion and tenderness, which would serve at once to blame the fault and to comfort the offender. Her sole effort was to make the delinquent perceive her error and recollect herself, and she did this in ways so gentle and terms so insinuating that it was almost impossible not to be moved to repentance, and not to receive the admonition with profit. If an unruly spirit showed itself in anyone, what entreaties, what caresses, what loving stratagems her charitable prudence suggested, to lead her back into the right path!
The venerable Cardinal d’Arezzo, a man most zealous for the glory of God and the salvation of souls, was peculiarly anxious that the ecclesiastical functions should be performed with all possible propriety and perfection. Yet when he saw any of his subjects fail in this, though his heart was deeply moved, all were surprised at the mildness of his correction. But when he heard that any of his flock, and especially any ecclesiastic, was living in some habitual sin or had fallen into a grave transgression, it caused him such pain and affliction that he often wept; and after supplicating God, with fervent and loving prayer, to have compassion on human miseries and frailty, he would turn all his thoughts and efforts towards providing some remedy. First of all, in such cases, he would promulgate anew the decrees and orders of synods, with their penalties annexed, to the end that the guilty parties might be reminded of the danger in which they stood, and might do at least from fear what they would not do from virtue. Afterwards, if necessary he would give an admonition in private—-but with admirable tact and with especial tokens of confidence and familiarity. At first sight this course appears strange and contrary to all rules of good government, but one can scarcely believe how much good it did in the hands of this holy pastor. He sometimes sent for priests and even for seculars who were known to be leading evil lives, and invited them to dine with him. After dinner, he took them to his own room and began to admonish them, dilating upon the heinousness of their sin and its enormity before God, with such zeal and affection that he wept copiously himself, and moved them also to tears and conversion. In this way he gained the greatest results, and admirable changes of life were witnessed, to the extraordinary edification of the people.
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