“Brethren, if a man be overtaken in any fault, you who are spiritual instruct such a one in the spirit of meekness, considering thyself lest thou also be tempted.” — Gal. vi. I.

Perhaps there is no duty so hard to perform well as that of correction ; and of course I refer chiefly to parental correction. Some parents are too lenient. They sin by petting their children. They over-praise them to their faces. They give them to understand that they are not loved, but worshipped. They believe them against school teacher, neighbor, or relative. They are the slaves of the child’s lightest whim. And long before old age comes such parents are apt to suffer from that very miserable infliction, a spoiled child. Children are said to be the crown of their parents ; the spoiled child is a crown of thorns.

Others, on the contrary, are too severe. If they really love their little ones they have discovered how to disguise it. They are too exacting. They scold, and they scold often, and long and loud. They bring up past offences, long since atoned for. They dwell much on their own merits as good parents. They correct in anger. Impulse guides them, or rather drives them, in place of affection and a spirit of justice. The sudden slap and the rude shove for the smaller ones ; the blow of the fist, the kick for the larger ones. And oh ! the deadly curse, the evil wish connected with Satan’s name, the wish for eternal loss for one’s own child, the harsh name, the face flaming with rage, the shouting voice ; brethren, all this drives the boys to the saloon, and the girls to the dangerous companionship.

Is it not, then, a difficult thing to avoid both extremes, to be neither too lenient nor too severe? Does it not show us how high a place in Paradise a faithful parent shall enjoy ? Does it not — this matter of parental correction alone — show us why our Blessed Lord raised the parental office to a sacramental state?

St. Paul in the text — although speaking of correction in general — lays down two rules which good parents know by experience to be the two wings of their flight to heaven: first, parents should be spiritual, and second, they should be meek. Spiritual, because to be a good parent “is not of him that willeth nor of him that runneth, but of God who showeth mercy.” Brethren, lay this to heart : the married state is indeed happy, but only by the grace of God. Natural dispositions go before all supernatural life. But the natural man is clay which the potter moulds into a vessel of election. And how often do we see easy going, kindly-natured young people become crabbed enough after marriage. They lack the grace of God ; that is the reason of their difficulties in governing their children. They do not pray enough. They do not come often enough to the sacraments. They are unwilling to inconvenience themselves by joining the rosary society or the temperance society. The necessary spirit of sacrifice is absent from the family ; and that spirit is born of the practices of religion.

Furthermore, the spirit o.f meekness is necessary : The true spirit of correction is not the spirit of authority, but the spirit of meekness. If one’s mind is all puffed up with the importance of one’s dignity and the greatness of one’s merit; if one is always itching to have his authority respected by his children, instead of seeking to be loved by them on account of his devoted affection ; if by his harsh voice, his exacting spirit, his cold and distant manner, his stinginess — if by such means he undertakes to keep ” his children in their place,” they will be neither virtuous nor happy. And least of all will he be happy himself.

After all, dear brethren, there is but one object in bringing up a family : to train souls how to be good children of God. Now, if human beings can be kept out of sin in any other way but by much loving kindness, then the Christian religion is a mistake. Once St. Philip Neri was surrounded by a troop of noisy boys. Some of his friends, who were annoyed by their shouts and laughter and boyish clatter, complained of them to him. ” Why, Father Philip,” they said, ” how can you stand such a noise about you ? ‘ ‘ The saint smiled and answered, “They might chop wood on my back if it would only keep them out of sin.” Let it therefore be the one object of parents to so correct their children as to gradually remove the defects of character and nature which may cause them to sin. It may sometimes be good to punish with a certain severity, but always without passion; after a little time, at least, of deliberation, and especially in such a way that the child may know that the chastisement is inflicted by one who loves God and his child’s soul too much to neglect proper correction.

Five-minute Sermons for Low Masses on All Sundays of the Year
By the Priests of the Congregation of St. Paul, 1893